Anyone who'd come up with: "I'm not sure. Have profound thoughts about unemployment?" is going to do just fine; and I hope you manage to not become a lawyer in the bargain.

Well you are not alone. I study Physics, more specifically Cosmology and My husband is an Astronomer! I remember people faces back in Iran, as I told them I am studying physics; they would usually look at me confused because they had thought I was a good student and even now in US when I get a call from older relatives from LA or Iran they sometimes try very kindly to make me feel better by calling me or my husband, Mrs. or Mr. Engineer! Any way I hope when we get our Ph.D. they feel better as they don’t have to be so embarrassed each time they are trying so hard to figure which title they have to use to call us but it still won’t solve their problem of figuring out our madness! Each time they ask us if we would work in an industrial company when... [more at the permalink of the entry above]

One word: --Plastics.

Well crafted. You are pointing at a core problem of a society that is epistomologically immature.

Well crafted. You are pointing at a core problem of a society that is epistomologically immature.

For Ghazal and Niayesh - Maybe not quite Hafez or Rumi, but I like it: The Waking I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. We think by feeling. What is there to know? I hear my being dance from ear to ear. I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. Of those so close beside me, which are you? God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there, And learn by going where I have to go. Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how? The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair; I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. Great Nature has another thing to do To you and me; so take the lively air, And, lovely, learn by going where to go.... [more at the permalink of the entry above]

Hey, there are some things you can do for a living with a philosophy degree. Not many, but some. ;-) The trick is to make the end-game sound exotic, cutting edge, and high paying. My brother got his M.A. in philosophy and went on to get his Ph.D. in medical ethics, for instance. He can make it sound like he's going to get medical doctor's wages, even if the only thing similar that he will have is a medical doctor's graduate school debt. :p

Great post. I only suggest you make the Persian words italic and give some explanation in the footnote so non-Iranians won't be discouraged to read your writing and have some sympathy for us.

SG --- Good point. I was some of the Persian words, but many I wasn't. I was familiar with the general sense of things from family gatherings with Italian, Greek and Jewish friends; I'm amazed at how much of this is so universal.

AmericanWoman: Come again? ;-) James, It struck a chord (or many chords!) with me as I had said similar things before in FToI. In particular, I once waged some sort of a war against studying pure Science under a proposal by Yaser Kerachian! As for "mehmooni", this un-translatable word, some TV channel was showing the movie Godfather I last night and while I was trying to make up my mind whether I should go to bed or sit on the couch I noticed an uncanny similarity between how Italian mafia worked (according to that movie) and how Iranian families operate. I guess to some extent it must be true about Greeks (with whose culture I'm familiar only based that recent best-selling movie).

AmericanWoman: I have been honored to have Jewish friends and relatives, Greek friends and relatives, AND now Iranian friends and relatives, and trust me, you all seem to share a gene regarding familial interactions that Machiavelli would have loved. I'm not complaining, but it sure and heck does keep me on my toes. If you didn't get to watch The Godfather last night by all means do take it out, in fact the entire trilogy and take the time to watch this wonderful movie --- though do your best to ignore those sections where Sofia Coppola is acting; she's a truly wonderful director, but that says nothing for her acting.

Jews, Greeks, Romans, Persians. Do we see a pattern here?

Yeah, he likes everyone. Goes with growing up in a housing project in the Bronx --- you either got along with everyone or you got beat up an awful lot; I didn't like getting beat up.

I think I did the best thing. Since I remember, I made my family understand that my dream job is to become a broadway dancer. I remember telling family friends and relatives that, and they all gave me surprised looks, with eyes the size of saucers, and muttered in disbelief "Are you sure! You'll change your mind!" As if it's an unwritten rule that Iranians can't be good at arts, and they have to pursue something they don't even enjoy. No matter how many people tried to discourage me saying that I will remain jobless and it's impossibly difficult to live with an acting salary I just didn't buy it. I actually think the whole aura of discontent gave me a boost in rebeling against their wishes. I told them don't bother, I will study drama and drama it is! So when later in college I changed my major... [more at the permalink of the entry above]

I'm not sure Iranians are any worse than anyone else, really. Of the three ethnic groups I mentioned, Greek, Italian and Jewish, all were focused on being involved in their children's lives. The Jews were also wrapped up in accomplishment. I think people who've only been here for a couple of generations tend to be more involved in their children's lives and influencing them per their priorities and take on the world. Those here longer tend to have children who've had in inculcated in them that it's your life to mess up or make as you will, go for it (which is not to say that they're crazy about dancers/actors/musicians in the family, either). Those who are associated with some sort of diaspora also have a stronger need for accomplishment in their lives and the lives of their children (sometimes accomplishment in THEIR lives is accomplishment in the lives... [more at the permalink of the entry above]

James, The entry you responded to (Godfather) wasn't me, it was S.G. aka Senior Grad. Also, I like your (and Rothke's) poem. S.G., It is a line from a movie, "The Graduate." Sometime in the '60's Dustin Hoffman finishes college, and is shocked to realize that he is expected to get a job. He walks down the staircase of his parents home, where they and all their friends are celebrating. One by one Dustin is approached by various friends of his parents (the world of adults) who offer him various paths into the future. They all seem so hypocritical, self serving, venal, repellent and bourgeoisie to someone as idealistic and moralistic as the young anti-establishment hero. The final straw is when a beloved uncle type slides up to Dustin, shakes his hands and says surruptitiously "One word --plastics" as if he is giving him a golden key. Parents just... [more at the permalink of the entry above]

American Woman --- Nuts, you're right, apologies to you and SG. Glad you liked the poem! The Graduate is a terrific movie, right up there with the Godfather on must sees, especially to appreciate how cultures aren't always that different. I'm not sure that parents are interested in their children being happy, to be honest. Some in fact are, they leave their children's choices to their children and guide as asked. Others are monumentally put out when their kids go their own way as it's not thought the kids know best. I guess it's all what type of family you have, but you're right, you have to find what you want to be yours, claim it, stick with it, and the rest of the world just needs to live with it --- that takes a lot of moxie, though.

Oh, "The Graduate". I now remember the pool party after Dustin's graduation. Couldn't help noticing that even in his youth, Dustin Hoffman, with that prominent nose, looked kinda old! P.S. I personaly would put "The Graduate" above "Godfather I, II, and III"! :-)

Well, not sure about I & II, but DEFINITELY III.

I am studing siciology and i have a same problem sometimes my relatives ask me same questions,I couldent fine a good answer so i am going to study in low

The study of Psychology will not be wasted in Law school.

It might well help you understand why you made the career choice you did, giving you all the more reason to be sick about it. Don't mix pyschology and law, it'll lead to insights you'd likely prefer to not have!

I would just suggest,pursue your love and you will succeede. I close my eyes and walk the path and dont care about anyone. This is my philosophy. Although I loved physics in high school and I even participated in International physics olympiad but these same pressures prevented me from pursuing my dream work which is superstring cosmology. thanks to all

liked your article. wondering if we can post it on our site. email me at srezaei AT persianmirror DOT com. thanks Shabnam