In response to a recent posting which invited the writers of this weblog to write about their real concerns we had a posting by Kaveh Khojasteh, reflecting some of the concerns and issues from the perspective of those living abroad.
I am affraid I failed to be as elegant and as brief as Kaveh. I do not dare to claim to represent the "inside" view either. This was just me until about a month ago. My daily routine might have changed a bit ever since, but the thoughts and concerns are still there.
As I pass by the newsstand, I quickly read the headlines:
Khatami Expresses Regrets Over [...]
[...] Has Been Arrested
The Canadian Ambassador left Iran ...
People read about all this havoc and then go on probably thinking that there's someone out there who takes care of these, that there're people who will run the show.
|7:05||I'm finally on a bus and I've got a seat of my own. It's got to be cleaned though. People are grumbling about the dirty seats. Some old man goes to the driver and complains about the seats. The driver says: "Don't tell me. I ain't running the show!".|
|7:40||I'm at the place of service. People there love titles. Most people there call me "Engineer". I don't like it but I fake politeness. I'm with different people but they're somehow all like me, looking forward to the end of the day. They all think someone else is running the show. But no one is. I wonder how the country is still on its feet. Everyone's waiting to call it a day. Everyone thinks the show is being run by someone else.|
|14:30||I'm at my place of work. There, people don't call me "Engineer". They call me "Mr. Engineer". People there too think the show's being run by someone else. I know it's not. I try to be different there. I try to take responsibility. I suddenly find myself being reached out to by almost everyone. They think I'm running the show. I'm not.|
|20:45||I'm signing out and leaving for home. Another last-minute request from the boss. He thinks his personnel are running the show.|
|21:00||I'm on a taxi. The radio's on. Someone has implied in a speech that we need nukes to defend the people of Palestine. I wonder if he knows what he's talking about. Maybe he too thinks someone else will take care of it; will run the show.|
I'm home watching some TV. Someone switches to one of "those" channels:
|23:40||Going to sleep. Thoughts have come to haunt me again…|
Why does everyone think someone else is running the show?
Why do we need someone else to solve our problems?
Why is everyone (including myself) leaving?
What if all 60 million of us leave? Who will "run the show" then?
What the heck is wrong with us? Is it the culture? Maybe someone ought to "change" it. But who? And how?
What if we get into a war too? What will I do? What should I believe? Should I defend "my country"? Should I hide and save my butt because someone will run the show with or without me? Whom will I be defending? Whom will I be fighting? Who is running the show?